After the birth of our twins, my husband suffered and need my care. And many times I failed. Often, watching someone else suffer makes us feel so helpless. We come before our husbands empty-handed and often wordless. How can we be their helper when we feel so helpless?

Discipleship doesn’t only take place in quiet rooms with books, Bibles, and coffee—it also takes place in the bustling homes of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

My ideal of discipleship involved weekly meetings, formal Bible studies, answers to hard questions, and in-depth counseling. But this wasn’t what God provided at the time. Rather, God provided me with something much less intentional, but no less formative—a family who showed us hospitality.

Maybe the man you married hasn’t turned out to be the spiritual leader of your dreams. If so, there are two temptations I’d like to encourage you to guard yourself from: Taking up your chisels to carve your husbands into an idol, or carving yourself into an idol for him. 

It hurts when someone we love is hurting. We love them, and we wish we could simply dust away their pain and chuck it out the door. But we are meant to be a part of the body. As a fellow part of the body, I am not meant to fix another. I can’t take away that pain, and to believe I can minimizes their suffering. 

Whether we are mothers already or desiring to be mothers, we too at times find fulfillment and joy in becoming moms. We place our hope in being the best mom and strive to outdo one another in mothering (just look at the mommy wars on social media). Our identity must be in Christ.

As our expectations of what marriage with a Christian man should look like is slowly torn to bits and tossed to the wind, we can feel discouraged, angry, hopeless, bitter, and heartbroken. What do we do with these feelings? How do we bring back that love we had at the altar?

Do I seek relief and fulfillment from God or my husband? Where do I run in times of need? What ultimately comforts my soul in difficult times—the return of my husband after work or my Perfect Father above? If all I had left was Christ, would He be enough?